The thing about adopted kids is they have attachment issues. The Aglet was raised by his birthfamily for several months, and then left at the orphanage.
That was traumatic. (In case you’re unfamiliar with Minnesotan understatement, this is what it looks like.)
Then, he stayed at the orphanage for almost two years and was taken away by funny looking pasty space aliens who are so stupid they only speak six words of chinese. (Seriously. We are funny looking and stupid.)
That was REALLY traumatic. (Look! I’m doing it again!)
He is adjusting well. He knows he likes us. He knows we like him.
But he doesn’t know we’re his parents yet. At this point, he is likely looking around to see who he’s going off with next. Recently adopted kids do this. They can be totally shutdown because everyone’s the same and they don’t like a one of you, or they can be super friendly with everyone because who knows who is taking them away next. The Aglet is closer to that second category than the first.
But he’s still angry that he’s been taken away from the place he knew, and he is still grieving the loss of his nannies and friends.
In order to help him figure out that we’re his parents, we are going to do pretty heavy attachment parenting. If he cries, we’ll be there. May not be able to fix it, but we can be with him while he does.
We also will be the ones to feed him and change him and hold him for the next unspecified while (probably months). If you’d like to feed him or change him or hold him, please please ask first, and please don’t be offended if we say no.
Things that are definitely all right: making faces, playing the can you hand me that game, probably playing other games, talking to him, giving us food so we can give it to him.
We need to be the fount of all goodness for a while, because that’s what parents are when you’re so tiny– where the food and the drinks and the naptime and the hugs come from. Once he figures out that we are his parents, by which I mean attaches to us, I will be all over letting you be the one to have fried rice carefully dropped down your shirt with giggling.
In the meantime, there will be lots of pictures here, and we’ll be introducing him to people as he sees fit.
Many thanks to Jessie at the Widget Factory who I stole many ideas from (http://widget.avocation.org/?p=7#more-7)