from an email i just sent

just copying it here for posterity.

one of the things that i fundamentally think about all of this is that it would be better for the kids if they got to stay with their birth families in their own countries. however, due to various things, that’s not possible. in ethiopia, some of the kids are actually orphans with no family, some of the kids are placed for adoption by families who know they can’t take care of them. i don’t think any of the kids are taken from their families by the government– that happens a lot here, and a lot in russia, though. i know some countries want someone local to have a chance to adopt the kids first, so they then can’t be adopted by people from other countries until they’ve been in the system for x years, or are x years old, or something. ethiopia is not currently doing that.

i disagree with a lot of things that various countries are doing in regards to the adoption process (including the usa) but i think that families get to choose what’s best for their kids, and then countries get to choose what’s best for them, after that. something very very awful has happened to these kids– they’ve lost their birth families. and while i disagree some times with what countries choose to do, with what guidelines they put in place, i can’t blame them for doing their best to try to make sure that the rest of those kids’ lives are as good as possible.

anyhow. all that to say that whenever ethiopia changes their rules (twice so far in the past six months, not at all before that, as long as i’ve been involved, anyhow), i cry like crazy and then i start thinking about how my goal is to have a kid and to be a good parent to that kid, and how there’s no rule change that anyone can make that can stop that for me.

i’m working on relentless positivity about this. it’s not my natural mode, so it’s a little trying sometimes. šŸ˜‰

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